I find that even now after years of counseling and a profession of faith in Jesus. I still struggle with the demons of my past. I still carry anger, not that I wish to feel these emotions, they are in me and they are real and they haunt me day and night.
I don't really know why I feel like I have to write about this. I don't know if it's a continued journey of trying to heal from deep dark wounds. I find myself spewing out accusations towards innocent bystanders. Or to those who maybe think they know me, and find they are shocked by something I say or do. I confess, I am messed up!!!! But not completely! I have found comfort in praying, exercising, and re-connecting with life long friends. My love for beading gives me hope, and such a feeling of accomplishment. I always felt like a failure, like I couldn't ever accomplish anything. Until I found my passion for bead weaving.
My life is a long painful story, and I feel like I've wallowed in it long enough. I confess I have a very hard time when I do things wrong. Or I seem to repeat the same mistakes over and over. I find hope in God's promises to me in His Holy word. So as I continue on my spiritual journey of hope and healing. Pray for me if you pray, or think good thoughts and send them my way.
